Reminiscence

Current mood: Defeated 
Current song : Hedley - Invincible

The title says its all.
Back to blogging, recently very busy with Prelims exams . Wake up-> exams-> home-> eat -> sleep-> study . Boring life .
Last 2 paper , Chemistry paper 1 and POA . Going to take a break before mugging with my books :)


This post is about my past, that I had faced .
Everyone had their setbacks and failure in their life . It goes the same for me, I'm a failure .
The greatest setback in my life is failed in relationship ...
I always thought she was the one for me. I gave her the best and gave up everything for her . But still, she left .....
The reason: unknown
That period of time, I'm at the deepest point of my life , I felt that I lost everything .
She was everything to me, I never thought of her leaving .
Used to promise each other that one day we would marry till when the time is right, study hard for our O levels for now .


Silly promises, but, I believed .


I remember on a faithful night, when I was sleeping soundly.
I received a call from her, in her call, she says that her asthma had acted up . She can't find any medicine in her room, she had difficulties in breathing.


I was so worried , it was in the middle of the night . I didn't care anything else, I just took the house keys and left .....


My heart was racing, the feeling was afraid to lose her . She sounded very sick on the phone. That late night, bus service was closed already . I ran all the way to her house ....


When I reached her doorstep, her sister came and unlock the door for me . Rush to find her, she look very pale .
Felt so useless , she was so miserable, yet i can't do anything to lessen the pain. The only thing I could do, is to stay by her side and comfort her till her parents were back ....
That night, I will never forget the whole incident . I had nearly lost her .


3 months already going to 4 months that we had break-up.
Feelings faded , but memories was etched .
I'm surprise how she forget everything about our relationship which lasted for 1year 4months .
That point of time, i felt anger and fear of losing her . I tried ways to hold her back, but she chose to leave ....


Thanks to my brothers and sister that stood all along by my side. I manage to overcome all obstacle .
But on the other hand, my parents was questioning our relationship .
I didn't know how to tell them about us.


I drink and smoke that whole night with my brothers . I thought by doing it will lessen my anger and agony .
But, it didn't helped at all .
i always put up a strong front, but now, i guess i can't anymore :(
Even till now, whenever I see her , memories will start to flashback about our past .

Memories were still kept. Looking back at all these pictures, i smiled to myself.
At the same time, controlling tears from falling again .
Times and times I failed when it comes to this.
Recently I heard she is doing quite well, hope she keep it up bah :)
People changes as time pass, for me I didn't . Because I don't have to impress anyone in my life .
-True love leaves a memory no one can steal and a heartache no one can heals .


When we first met, I had no idea you would be so important to me.
Hope you will find a better guy . I'll give you my blessing .


Someone once told me,
When someone walks out of your life, let them. There's no use in wasting time on people that leave you. What you make of yourself and your future is no longer tied with them. Yeah, you may miss them. But remember you weren't the one that gave up.


-Tears falling w/o any controlling, once again.
Failed to stay strong♥