TROUBLED

Enjoy the music :D 

I had enough of thinking of her. Does faking a smile, means staying strong too? Putting up a strong front is really tiring. i had so much of problems recently, and she keep reappearing in my life. I wonder how long can i take it anymore.

-Maybe It's time to let go of all this and start over again. After all, I can no longer smile because of you. Someone else out there, makes me smile more. A genuine smile that you can't put on my face anymore. My heart is in a million pieces and I can't fix it back.

My grandmother last 2 weeks had been diagnosis with lung cancer 4 stage. the news was shocking, all along her health was okay. The next moment she is so weak, she keep complaining having sharp pain. All my parents could do is to give her pain-killer to subside the pain temporarily. My grandma had been taking care of me since i was young, see her in such pain, i could do nothing, i felt so useless. My parents and relative didn't tell my grandma of her health condition, because they don't want her to be upset or worry about anything else. The doctor says she is too old for operation and the percentage of survival is very low. For now, i am trying to visit her when i am free. i feel so empty, i used to have dinner with my family together. Now, my dad is always coming home late due to having late meeting, my mum is staying with my grandma. my brother and sister are coming home late as usual. my house become so quiet and empty, everything changes.

Tears Falls Uncontrollably :"(